The Stenciled Approach
Summer’s right around the corner, guys. So, let’s get in gear—yes, your gear!
First, make sure you’ve got everything sorted, basketed, washed, dried, pressed, steamed, folded, blocked, shanty-towned, gathered, pinned, stapled, re-steamed, cobblered, new-jacked, and–yes–packed.
To help you get your own Summer bag rolling in style, take a minute to inventory your way through our indispensable You Look Nice Today Packing List: read more »
Lobster Farm
We don’t know anyone who loves sushi more than we do. That’s because when we meet someone who loves sushi, we stop talking to them forever. Because we want to be the biggest sushi lovers we know.
To honor that love, we worked with a team of chefs to create signature sushi rolls for each of us. First, we went to Japan and found some masters of the form. Then we taught them English and made them listen to all of our shows, over and over, until they had distilled the essence of each of us into a roll. read more »
A Sextodecimestrial Letter to YLNT Shareholders
Bona Fides
TO THE SHAREHOLDERS OF …AND POTATO, INC., A DELAWARE CORPORATION (D/B/A, “YOU LOOK NICE TODAY”):
Sui generis, and in keeping with the reductio ad lexis terms viz. the charter, bylaws, and codicils of our de jure public incorporation papers (initially filed, pro bono, on April 3rd 2008 in Los Altos, CA), The Board of YOU LOOK NICE TODAY (hereafter: YLNT) are legally-obligated, ex libris, to submit this admittedly awkward Letter to Shareholders. So, here goes. read more »
Razzledazzle
Unpeeling the gunt, extending the brand, and rendering a sidekick polyhedron that really scales.
It’s a start.
That's Babies
“Baby City”
Trad., to the tune of “Tabula Rasa” by Arvo Pärt
Babies are special
babies are tough
babies have smooth skin
NE-VER rough!
Have you been to this place
this magical land
where everyone’s a baby
(baby hearts, baby hands
baby hearts, baby hands
baby hearts, baby hands)
Baby policeman!
Baby D.A.!
Baby court-appointed defense attorney!
read more »
The Magic Number
We went, with some friends, into the woods. A few days later we left the woods. Our memory of the time we spent in the woods is a bit fuzzy; fortunately, someone thought to make an audio recording of it.
This episode is about friendship. (And some other stuff. Well, mostly other stuff.) read more »
Bubbles
Bankruptcy Liquidation Auction
Beginning @ 9:00 AM-85 Herston Rd.
Long Beach, CA
Feb 8, 2010
Registration 7:30-10:00 A.M.
Auction With Reserve Will Be Conducted By:
Leroy D. Plaavs, III, License #KCL6232
Notice:
- LIQUIDATION OF THEIR 15’ x 25’ EXECUTIVE STORAGE UNIT WILL BEGIN PROMPTLY AT 7:30
- ALL ITEMS SOLD AS-IS
- ORIGINAL OWNERS WILL LIKELY BE PRESENT, DISGUISED AS POTENTIAL BUYERS
Summary:
Sellers are forced, after years of negative cash flow, to liquidate their storage locker as a condition of their bankruptcy claim. Sellers identify themselves as “We Look Nice,” an internet group. read more »
The Sake Period
Subject: #1228743 “Mann”
Application Date: September 4, 1980
Subject has submitted a new application to the Coolness Review Board. Note that this is Subject’s 12th separate application to the Board in just the past 2 years.
No signs of progress.
Pictured, above, is Subject’s self-declared “Summer Transformation.” No comment is required other than to note the outfit, which includes a web belt, painter’s pants, fake Adidas “four-striper” sneakers, a Dallas Cowboys T-shirt, and, tragically, Mork suspenders. read more »
In Congrefs
Hop in our decommissioned World War II tank that has been outfitted to look like the Liberty Bell. The You Look Nice Today Tour of Philadelphia Hotspots starts in 5 minutes!
For just a few dollars we’ll take you on an all-day tour of The City with a Nickname. Some highlights:
- Discuss fonts n’ ligatures with Merlin Mann at the Benjamin Franklin Museum’s authentic replica printing press.
- Stroll briskly through “transitional” neighborhoods with YLNT Gentrification Ambassador Scott Simpson.
- Hit the Burlington Coat Factory with your personal shopper for the day, Adam Lisagor. He’ll show you how to cry in the dressing room without leaving unsightly tear stains.
After the tour, go with friends old and new to any local Curves™ franchise. Present a copy of this website for 15% off any CurveBurger or Curvey Fries.
Seriously. Thanks PHL, you were the hottest one-night stand. Our favorite September 17, 2009 ever.
Love,
Youse Look Nice Today read more »
Breakin' In
While under the influence of y, we reveal that
- Merlin once put x in an envelope.
- Scott hoped another guy’s x would draw attention away from his own -(x).
- Adam = 2x.
If y = “tequila,” solve for x. read more »
East Arcadia State: 2009 MindSetter Sheet
At the dawn of each academic year, East Arcadia State University prepares our instructors and staff by curating some facts and observations about the generational differences that are peculiar to our incoming freshman class. By understanding how the world looks to them, we hope to provide the best possible educational experience. In other words:
How have things “always been” for East Arcadia’s incoming class of ‘13?
First, let’s kick off the ought-niner MindSetter with the hard and painful facts.
Folks, there’s no nice way to put this: many of these kids are young and uneducated.
Recent data conducted by the prestigous Van Hœt Group suggests that many of the 17- to 20-year-old students who comprise the fattest part of our freshman curve are not yet 21 years old; many are barely older than 16. But, it gets worse. read more »
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The Good Part
You’re gonna love it—the guitar does this “Wheeee!” thing while the drums go all “Chukka chukka booda booda.” OK, here it comes. Shhhh!
No wait, that’s not it. Almost there, just after this last chorus. Seriously, I think you’re going to love the song once you’ve heard this part. What’s that, little guy? No, Daddy’s playing his new favorite song for Mommy, so if you could go over there and wait for us. Quietly. Thanks!
Huh? Sure, I don’t care what we have for dinner. But wait, you’re gonna miss the—
…
JESUS. You just made me talk over the good part. GODDAMMIT.
No, it’s OK, whatever. I’m not going to rewind. Really, it’s NO BIG DEAL. It’s not a big, no…it’s really not a problem. It’s cool. I’ll play it for you later.
Pizza sounds fine.
read more »
Lonely Polisher
Seattle LIVE!: April 23, 2009
We teamed up with our pals Jordan, Jesse, Go! and took the Monsters of Podcasting on the road. Our Pacific Northwest Megatour kicked off in Seattle on Thursday and finally ended in Portland, on Sunday. In between: laughs, tears, exhaustion, roadies, groupies, monkeys…typical superstar stuff.
In this episode, we give a little bit back to our listeners. These are tough times. Money is tight. Luckily, we’re here to help. With Adam and Merlin’s antique appraisal expertise, you’ll be digging treasures out of your crawlspace in no time. read more »
Angry Captain
INT. DINGY POLICE CAPTAIN’S OFFICE IN THE 80’s - NIGHT
The chair behind the captain’s desk is empty. Two men sit, smoking, in folding chairs facing the desk. CABINTIRE (Adam Lisagor) relaxes in one chair; FLEECE (Emmanuel Lewis) fidgets in the other.
FLEECE
Cabintire, I told you, man! Captain wasn’t gonna be cool with this!
CABINTIRE
Put your panties back on.
(Cabintire hands Fleece a pair of frilly panties.)
FLEECE
First of all, no, man, that’s nasty. And they ain’t even my size!
The door swings open, then slams shut. CAPT RIFFLES (Dennis Franz) stands looking down at the two detectives, shaking his head, chuckling. read more »
Visit Hernes!
The You Look Nice Today Writer’s Retreat is located in the bristly pine hillocks just west of Coalinga, CA, accessible via Interstate 5 or the Pook County Community Airfield. Men and women whose applications have been approved (and checks cleared) are welcome to use the retreat and its 200-acre arboretum for reflection, meditation, and vigorous masturbation.
Hernes, the historic mansion where we serve supper and hold readings, towers over the cottages that dot the rest of the property. It was originally built to house a hot spring spa whose radium-based treatments drew convalescents from as far away as Kettleman City. The spa proved too costly—and too carcinogenic—to maintain, and the owners abandoned the property in 1911. We took over the place in 2005, and have kept the fire lit ever since. Come any evening between May and September and you’re sure to find a pot of Adam’s famous beluga lentil stew a-boil on the range.
A near-certain bout with cancer is a small price to pay for the quiet, and the camaraderie, of this special place. read more »
