Episode Guide

These are all of the extant episodes of You Look Nice Today. Click the title for more information and to download each episode for free. It’s easy, we swear.

Episode	Date	Description
Make a Given Wish	2013-01-02 18:44	As part of a pilot program, The You Look Nice Today Foundation (a Delaware corporation) has recently undertaken a groundbreaking new outreach initiative to provide comfort to those in theoretical need. read more »
Schrodinger's Conference Bag	2012-12-02 10:48	Welcome to the global premiere of the *International You Look Nice Today* Conference & Expo™! Get ready for an epic showcase of big-idea ideations and tactical tactics to be held in the picturesque Los Altos Community Centre, December 2nd 2012! Join old colleagues and make new friends in an immersive networking environment of blue-sky solutioneering and overcoats! Experience a wide-ranging and impactful offering of Keynotes, Panels, Super-Panels, Breakout Sessions, Birds-of-a-Feathers, Hands-On Demonstrations, and Interactive Receptionettes that will lavish you with a literal bag of pro-active informational materials** that you can cuddle with…today! You will learn about: read more »
Adam Ruins Everything	2012-11-02 08:46	Listen. It’s actually very simple. When you buy in to the You Look Nice Today “Inverted Triangle Program™” you enter a world of theoretically unlimited income. Recruit two friends, ask them to recruit two friends, and—BOOM—you’re reviving even the most tired franchise. Mazel Tov! read more »
Poolside	2012-10-02 14:06	read more » ATTENTION! POOL RULES! Free swim Thursdays 4:00 - 4:15. Shower before entering pool. Also, shave before entering pool. This is a “Body Shame Free” zone. You must keep your eyes closed at all times. Chairs may only be saved with a passport, $50 bill, or a signed photo of Burt Reynolds. Towels available for a small fee—ask the Towel Troll for details. Water in the pool is a privilege, not a right! Just going to be honest here about going #1 and #2: going #1 is way less of a big deal than you think. Going #2 is way more of a big deal than you think. Do NOT talk to Randy about 9/11. NO CANADIANS
Morning Glory	2012-09-02 14:44	TO: Paul Polman, CEO Unilever PLC London, United Kingdom Dear Mr. Polman, I hope you can help me. You are in charge of a massive, multinational food and detergent company. So I understand that you are a very busy man. My problem, while small compared to all of the things you must worry about every day, is of dire importance to me. I have been a fan of your Ragu line of pasta sauces for many years. Specifically, I love your Ragu Robusto™ Six Cheese Pasta Sauce. More specifically, I love to have sex with your Ragu Robusto™ Six Cheese Pasta Sauce. read more »
The Rules	2012-08-01 23:03	Hello, my friend! Welcome to my humble automobile dealership! Ah, yes. Very nice. I see you eyeing our all new 2013 Toyota Scimitar with optional Sports Package and Premium Ground Effects. This favored daughter of luxury is blessed with power steering, calfskin cup holders, and eleven LCD screens. And, she is yours today, my friend, for the pittance of $32,000. Very nice! [silence] read more »
Gellies Local 416	2012-07-01 22:10	Thieving Threesome Nabbed (California) Three men were detained and arrested at a local Target today, charged with the attempted theft of over $400 in merchandise. The men refused to identify themselves, giving only their local club affiliation: Gellies Local 416. “This wasn’t your normal grab-and-go,” said Target assistant manager Charles Monjohnson. “Like what they were wearing: fezzes, vests, and some kind of extremely roomy jumpsuit.” Also strange, he said, were the items they attempted to steal. A partial list: read more »
Druthers, CA	2012-06-01 23:04	Welcome to Druthers, CA! Here are some tips for making the most of your visit with us: • Yes. Keep checking your mailbox. No, again. Faster. Now, pay it forward. • DO not touch the princess anywhere that her swimsuit would cover. • No sighing in the doughnut line. • Just stop tapping your goddamned foot fer chrissakes. • Uncle Blackman’s Enthusiastic Antebellum Sprinting Adventure is closed for renovation until further notice. • Keep a sharp eye out for “Hidden Deppies” • Climbing on the Leon Uris shelf is strictly prohibited. • No insie-outsies on “Lock-In Night.” • Only children under 42 inches in height are permitted to romp in Erma’s Cherry Bowl—and each child MUST be accompanied by a non tripping-balls parent. • SORRY! After June 7, 1998, Arlo’s “Shuck Bux” will no longer be honored. • Thank you in advance for not discussing disused aspect ratios. • Cut line early on rides you like. Lines are for babies. • The Sacristy is not there for making-out. Sacristy only likes you as a friend—and not actually all that much to be honest. • PLEASE don’t slam your locker door. • Qbert ALWAYS hits on “16.” You may double-down on aces and Robotron. • The Parade will NOT stop in the event you are injured by a Moog. • SHAME on you. Seriously*.
The Stenciled Approach	2012-05-02 19:10	Summer’s right around the corner, guys. So, let’s get in gear—yes, your gear! First, make sure you’ve got everything sorted, basketed, washed, dried, pressed, steamed, folded, blocked, shanty-towned, gathered, pinned, stapled, re-steamed, cobblered, new-jacked, and–yes–packed. To help you get your own Summer bag rolling in style, take a minute to inventory your way through our indispensable You Look Nice Today Packing List: read more »
Lobster Farm	2012-04-01 23:13	We don’t know anyone who loves sushi more than we do. That’s because when we meet someone who loves sushi, we stop talking to them forever. Because we want to be the biggest sushi lovers we know. To honor that love, we worked with a team of chefs to create signature sushi rolls for each of us. First, we went to Japan and found some masters of the form. Then we taught them English and made them listen to all of our shows, over and over, until they had distilled the essence of each of us into a roll. read more »

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You Look Nice Today is an audio-based Journal of Emotional Hygiene, staffed by lonelysandwich, scottsimpson, and hotdogsladies. More »