Bubbles

Running Time: 
41:42

GermanBox

Bankruptcy Liquidation Auction
Beginning @ 9:00 AM-85 Herston Rd.
Long Beach, CA
Feb 8, 2010

Registration 7:30-10:00 A.M.

Auction With Reserve Will Be Conducted By:
Leroy D. Plaavs, III, License #KCL6232

Notice:

  1. LIQUIDATION OF THEIR 15’ x 25’ EXECUTIVE STORAGE UNIT WILL BEGIN PROMPTLY AT 7:30
  2. ALL ITEMS SOLD AS-IS
  3. ORIGINAL OWNERS WILL LIKELY BE PRESENT, DISGUISED AS POTENTIAL BUYERS

Summary:

Sellers are forced, after years of negative cash flow, to liquidate their storage locker as a condition of their bankruptcy claim. Sellers identify themselves as “We Look Nice,” an internet group. Items for sale include memorabilia and other items related to the sellers’ childhoods, including:

  • Butterfly knives
  • Player piano rolls
  • Several boxes of generic LEGO clone called MARGO
  • Autographed photo of Ira Glass
  • Autographed photo of Pete Rose (same signature as above)
  • Museum-quality collection of antique popcorn poppers
  • Nail parings
  • Inspirational poster, “CHANGE”
  • 250 copies of self-published book, “The Annotated Penthouse Letters”
  • …and much more

PAYMENT MAY BE MADE IN THE FORM OF DOLLARS, YUAN, FLOOZ, OR COMPLIMENTS THAT SOUND LIKE YOU MEAN IT.

DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH SELLERS, THEY’RE STILL PRETTY SAD ABOUT THIS WHOLE THING

This episode was sponsored by:
TLJ


Photo: Boxed-in, by patries71
TLJ Bizcard by JasPer

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Finally

a new episode, thanks guys been waiting for this for a long, long time.

Korean avengers

Hooray for bringing back the “question for the Sandwich” transition, whenever that happened. The best of the bunch.

If you think French is mostly a funny accent, try Dutch. What do you reckon is in that “boekenbox” up there?

And my two scrambledy captcha words, for the record, are “Korean avengers.” Nice.

Do not by a house from Tommy Lee Jones!

Normally my afternoon is made complete as I sit with Tea and Scones listening to the latest ‘Talky’ from YLNT, however the most recent episode brought back memories best left forgotten.

It was summer of 2003 and like most people I dreamed of relocating myself, my partner Stella, our nine cats Normally my afternoon is made complete as I sit with Tea and Scones listening to the latest ‘Talky’ from YLNT, however the most recent episode brought back memories best left forgotten.

It was summer of 2003 and like most people I dreamed of relocating myself, my partner Stella, our nine cats and a parrot named Sebastian. So like most people we enlisted the help of Seriously Realty, INC. They had a solid reputation and the hot air balloon encapsulated our hopes and dreams of warmer days, rolling grasslands, a place our cats can call home. However our experience was jolly not that super.

A serious looking gentleman named Tommy arrived at the door at 5:45 am claiming in a stern voice “I like to start the day early, don’t you, like to start the day early? What is your name? Can I come in?” I stepped aside and he entered, to this day I never jolly well said you can enter the house, he just came in!

I know..

Anyway he walked around the house looking inside cupboards, bedrooms all the while he asked questions that made me jolly well uncomfortable. Stella was not home yet, having again worked back late to impress her new boss which was lucky because this would of made her more uncomfortable than I already was. Questions such as “Have you ever broken the law in this house?” and “Can you look here, if i bang this here with my fist will a secret panel open, Norman, you can tell me, if I bang here will it open? What about here?”

Wanting to have this visit come to conclusion I asked how much our house is worth, to which he answered. “I will be honest, I don’t think people are going to buy this house, Norman you need to come to a reality that will be painful but you need to come to an understanding that this house, will not ever be sold. Norman I know this is a shock but I have seen this before to many times, people, good people like yourselves wanting to start a new life and they get these crazy ideas that people would want to purchase a house that faces east. “

“Sorry?” I said…

“Norman, surely you would of figured it out by now. This house has been facing east, for how long I don’t know but make no mistake no one is going to purchase a house in this state?”

“But what about next door, they face east and they sold last week!”

“Norman look at me, are you looking at me? I am not here to talk about what might or might not happen outside these walls, I am here to talk to you Norman, in order to sell your house you will need to rotate it to have it facing north, west or south but as long as this house is facing East I will have to put this house down on the black list. I am doing to you a favour Norman, so stop looking at me like that.”

With that he left, wished me a good day and walk out the door and our lives. Stella arrived home three days later tired and sore from working but she was shocked and upset.

To this day we still live at the same house, unable to sell unless we pay to have our house rotated. Dreams ruined

When are you coming back?

Another day, another futile search for a new podcast. Oh to hear you all again.

Nicole

dailylibrary@typepad.com