Poolside

Running Time: 
00:36:14

365/151

ATTENTION! POOL RULES!

  • Free swim Thursdays 4:00 - 4:15.
  • Shower before entering pool. Also, shave before entering pool.
  • This is a “Body Shame Free” zone. You must keep your eyes closed at all times.
  • Chairs may only be saved with a passport, $50 bill, or a signed photo of Burt Reynolds.
  • Towels available for a small fee—ask the Towel Troll for details.
  • Water in the pool is a privilege, not a right!
  • Just going to be honest here about going #1 and #2: going #1 is way less of a big deal than you think. Going #2 is way more of a big deal than you think.
  • Do NOT talk to Randy about 9/11.
  • NO CANADIANS

Also: what’s your theme song; Adam the lion; cloggin’ a drain; seeing yourself in a mirror; grits etc.; Burt Reynolds; peeing on Car 17; splashing is not drowning; pool chairs for everyone bro; browsing TV Guide; Robin Hood of chaises; an original Playstation; The Meerkats and the Laundry Bag; nipples in a crawlspace; ask Quora; the sausage sweats.

NOTE: Which one is “Simon?’

Pool image by Chrissy H.

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