Monsters

RiderMini
We learned that The Smoking Gun was about to publish this, so we decided to get it out there first. Someone, at some venue where we’ve performed in the past, got a hold of our performance contract’s “rider”: the addendum that spells out how we’d like the dressing room to be set up, etc.

Background: together with our podcast pals Jordan, Jesse Go!, we occasionally perform live as the Monsters of Podcasting. In fact we’ve got two shows coming up: one in Seattle on April 23 and one in Portland, OR on April 26.

We love Jordan and Jesse. We think their show is fabulous. Without them there certainly would be no Monsters of Podcasting. Are they demanding? Sure. Unreasonably so? OK, maybe sometimes—see the rider. But we love them anyway.

They’ll be criticized, maybe even vilified, for the contents of this document. But you know what? We’ll stand by them. Well, near them. Kind of close-ish. The same room. Probably.

Trancript of the leaked email (or see the original here):

From: REDACTED
To: REDACTED @ hotmail.com
Subject: (! High Priority !) MOPs Appearance

Hi Tina—

Please find the fellows’ standard dressing room requests below. Note that this was agreed to in the final (signed) version of the contract dated 12/14/08.  [winking emoticon]

Thanks—

AFF

Alan F. Furstwether
Manager, MOPs
11 Sunset Pkwy
Coalinga, CA 93210

=====================

MONSTERS OF PODCASTING DRESSING ROOM SET-UP

YOU LOOK NICE TODAY

Please provide:

  1. 3 chairs
  2. A few Diet Cokes, or whatever you have around, no big deal (Adam gets thirsty)

=====================

JORDAN, JESSE GO!

Venue has agreed to provide:

  1. 2 mahogany and/or teak writing desks
  2. 2 Aeron++ chairs, NEVER USED, arranged: Lumbar 14, LB 7, Leg height 2.3, spine angle 79.8º
  3. Bow tie steam press
  4. Stereo CD player w/ remote, turned on, set to play track #8 of Sade’s Promise on repeat
  5. Rand McNally’s Atlas of the United States, pages 45-72 torn out
  6. 1:18 scale replica of San Francisco International Airport’s non-denominational prayer chapel
  7. 3 heads butter lettuce, buttered
  8. 3X5 notecard taped to the mirror, with the name of the venue’s city and area code written on it
  9. 1 native Portuguese speaker 
  10. That day’s Craigslist W4M “Missed Connections” printed out, all proper names highlighted
  11. Vase of white roses smashed on the floor, then glued back together as if nothing ever happened
  12. 2 yellow men’s Size L T-Shirts. One says BANANNA, the other says PANTS. Note the misspelling.
  13. A treasure map that leads to real treasure

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This is very embarassing.

I don’t know what’s more embarassing, that someone at Smoking Gun fabricated this rider from whole cloth, or that one of our employees leaked a confidential document to the press.

Either way: it has been taken care of.

Re: This is very embarassing.

Mr. Thorn, you claim that this was fabricated, but where there’s smoke, there’s fire. Or sometimes dry ice.